When the leaves begin to turn...

I've been absent lately from the blogosphere...the job has been stressful, life has felt increasingly uncertain, and I've been unable to formulate my many (often disjointed) thoughts into a post that makes much sense.

But it's time to sit down and at least try.

There's just something about this time of year.

Fall, for me, is almost always a time of rejuvenation, of discovery. I know--spring, symbolically, would make a lot more sense--but for me, fall has always been a time of looking back,

remembering, and then moving forward.

I measure my life in falls, like a measuring stick of sorts...each fall is different, but for some reason, each fall, events happen that shape me, that grow me, that challenge me. Almost two years ago to the day, in another post, I wrote about several of my "life-changing" fall seasons. I chronicled my growth from a 16-year-old high school senior to a 20-year-old college graduate, single and content in my singleness, clinging to the truth that God's grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness. I re-read that post tonight; it's strange to look back in the mirror and realize how much you've changed.

Last fall, the fall of 2008, I was a newlywed, transplanted to a new town where I knew no one but my husband. I was scared, I was timid, and I was incredibly lonely. I knew I loved my husband, and in that I was happy, but I couldn't quite get my feet underneath me. I realized, after almost two months of marriage, that my birth control medication was affecting my emotional and mental health. So I quit taking it. Things began to look up.

And then, our apartment flooded. We were out of our apartment until January.

Last fall was an adventure, to say the least.

But I grew. I changed. I discovered that I was stronger than I thought I was. I made friends. I found a job. I excelled at said job. I survived the birth-control-induced craziness. The flood did not sweep me under. And I walked through it with my husband by my side.

As I anticipate the beginning of fall--the chai lattes, the sweaters, the leaves turning from green to red, yellow, brown--I wonder what this fall will bring. Uncertainty abounds because this is Daniel's final semester at Texas A&M. He graduates in 88 days. Will he find a job? When? Where? What happens next?

But, as the weather turns (hopefully) cooler, and as we continue to submit job

applications and resumes to companies across the country, I have to choose to trust. God's grace is still sufficient for me. My word of the year--freedom--is still incredibly relevant. I continue to cling to the freedom that Christ has given me--freedom from worry and from fear.

Let the leaves fall where they may. I am ready for whatever God brings this season.

Trusting in Him always...